last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
