I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There r osticjed everywhere
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
