butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
