hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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