No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
