Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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