when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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