She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize
