I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
