So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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