Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
