He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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