actually, I'm a sock model
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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