the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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