It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
