I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Green mimosas i think yes
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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