i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
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I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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