And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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