I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
