I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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