Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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