Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
