Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
