Sponge bath it is.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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