I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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