So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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