hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
