I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize