What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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