I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
