Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize