Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
