is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
