Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
