Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
