im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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