gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize