some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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