I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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