I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
