You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize