what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
