hell yes lets make some ravioli
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
