with your own penis?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
