It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
