so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sober January is a disaster.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
