Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
