Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
