Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
