Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
