Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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