She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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