its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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