he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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