My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
