I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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