I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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