marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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