like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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