i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
