i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Is that strawberry winking at me??
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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