And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
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I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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