After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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